College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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