So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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