I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
