and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
