dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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