Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
