their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I love black thongs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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