whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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