he puts the penis in happiness.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
