Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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