I think my fart just growled at me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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