Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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