i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
