I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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