she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
