Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
