So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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