um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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