xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dignity is for republicans.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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