then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
