Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
