i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
