i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
