i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
