the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
