**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
