i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
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