Plan B is the new Plan A
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
