My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
