What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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