He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
