you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
