I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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