My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
either way he was missing a nipple.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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