white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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