Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
