I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
