Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm really into asian looking animals
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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