oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dear god my vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
