My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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