well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
