I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
pop tarts are not kleenex
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
