He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
