I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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