I look better un-naked...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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