I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
