no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
