i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
