You smell like a Billy Joel song
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
