i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
